I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun. – John Rockefeller.
We do not have business problems. We have people’s problems. When we solve our people’s problems, our business problems are substantially resolved. People’s knowledge is more important than product knowledge. One needs to build a pleasing personality & it is a combination of a person’s attitude, behavior, & expressions. The steps to building a positive & pleasing personality are as under.
- Accept responsibility. Responsible behavior is to accept accountability & which represents maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our attitude & the environment we operate in.
- Show consideration, courtesy, & politeness. Thoughtfulness shows a caring attitude. The more considerate we are, the more courtesy one extends & the more polite we are towards people we automatically come close to people.
- Think win/win. When we think of serving our customers, our families, our employers, employees, colleagues we automatically win. One needs to create a win/win situation & the result shall culminate into happiness, prosperity, enjoyment & gratification because they are not thinking of themselves alone.
- Choose what you say rather than say what you choose. That is the difference between wisdom & foolishness. A fool speaks without thinking; a wise man thinks before speaking. One particular word spoken can cause irreparable damage, so whenever you utter any word visualize its consequences. Spoken words cannot be retrieved.
- Don’t criticize & complain. Criticize with a spirit of helpfulness rather than as a put-down. Criticize the behavior, not the person because when we criticize the person, we hurt their self-esteem.
- Smile & be kind. It happens in a flash, & the memory of it may last forever. Cheerfulness flows from goodness. It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. It is easier to smile than to frown. Smile often & make it a habit.
- Put positive interpretation on other people’s behavior. In the absence of sufficient facts, people instinctively put a negative interpretation on others’ actions or inactions. For example, how often have we put through a call & not get a reply from the other party for 2 days & the first thought that comes to our mind is “They ignored me.”
- Be a good listener. Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude towards another person, that person feels important. When he feels important, what happens? He is more motivated & more receptive to your ideas.
- Live while you are alive. Don’t die before you are dead. Enthusiasm & desire are what change mediocrity to excellence. Water turns into steam with a difference of only 1 degree in temperature & steam can move some of the biggest engines in the world. That is what enthusiasm helps us to do in our lives.
- Give honest & sincere appreciation. Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It makes a person feel important. The desire to feel important is one of the greatest cravings in most human beings. It can be a great motivator.
- When we make a mistake, we should accept it immediately & willingly. Some people live & learn while others live & never learn. Mistakes are to be learned from. The greatest mistake a person can make is to repeat it. A mistake is a mistake if it is committed twice.
- Discuss but don’t argue. Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins, the cost may be more than the victory is worth. It will take you nowhere & the more you argue with people, the more they distance away from you. Emotional battles leave a residual ill will even if you win.
- Don’t gossip. A gossip never minds his own business because he neither has a mind nor a business. Gossip is more concerned about what he overhears than what he hears. Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid.
- Turn your promises into commitments. A commitment is a promise that is going to be kept no matter what. Commitment comes out of character & leads to a conviction.• The quality of your life will be determined by the depth of your commitment to excellence, no matter what your chosen field.
- Be grateful but do not expect gratitude. Gratitude is a feeling. It improves our personality & builds character. Gratitude develops out of humility. It is a feeling of thankfulness towards others. Think of your most precious possessions. What makes them special? In most cases, the gift is less significant than the giver. Seldom are we grateful for the things we already possess?
- xBe dependable & practice loyalty. Ability is important but dependability is crucial. If you have someone with all the ability but he is not dependable, do you want him as part of your team? No, not at all.
- Avoid bearing grudges. Forgive & forget. When a person refuses to forgive, he is locking doors that someday he might need to open. When we hold grudges & harbor resentment, who are we hurting the most? Ourselves.
- Practice honesty, integrity & sincerity. Honesty inspires openness, reliability, & frankness. It shows respect for one’s self & others. Honesty is in being, not in appearing to be.
- Practice humility. Confidence without humility is arrogance. Humility is the foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness. Sincere humility attracts but false humility detracts.
- Be understanding & caring. Relationships don’t come about because people are perfect. They come about because of understanding. Practice generosity. It is a sign of emotional maturity. Being generous is being thoughtful & considerate without being asked. Be tactful. Tact is the ability to make a point without alienating the other person.
- Practice courtesy on a daily basis. Courtesy is nothing more than consideration for others. It opens doors that would not otherwise open. A courteous person, who is not very sharp, will go further in life than a discourteous but sharp person.
- Develop a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at yourself because it is the safest humor. Laughing at yourself gives you the energy to bounce back.
- Don’t be sarcastic & put others down. Negative people’s humor may include sarcasm, put-downs & hurtful remarks. Any humor involving sarcasm that makes fun of others is in poor taste. An injury is forgiven more easily than an insult.
- To have a friend, be a friend. Friendship takes sacrifice. Building friendships & relationships take sacrifice, loyalty & maturity. Sacrifice takes going out of one’s way & never happens by the way. Selfishness destroys friendships.
- Show empathy. The wrong we do to others & what we suffer is weighed differently. Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of a positive quality. People with empathy ask themselves this question: “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?” Show a lot of understanding, sympathy & compassion towards others.
Successful people build a pleasing & magnetic personality which helps in getting friendly cooperation from others. A pleasing personality is easy to recognize but hard to define. It is apparent in the way a person walks & talks, his tone of voice, the warmth in his behavior & his definitive levels of confidence.
In an organization where you work you need to relate extremely well with all kinds of people irrespective of their positions & status they hold. You need to get the best out of them at all times. People are imperfect, people will remain imperfect & it is how you get the work done through these imperfect people is all that matters. THUS, interpersonal relations are the key to any successful organization.
The source through which this article has been written has been many. I have gone through several management books, self-development books, journals & magazines before I decided to write this article. I always felt that as a resource people are the most important resource & with experience & expertise the value of the people increase with the advancement of age. If one needs to be successful in his business place, he needs to possess people’s skills in abundance.
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